Happy Friday! I am ready for the weekend to be here. Time with work is flying by so quickly that I have anxiety (more on that later) and July will be here faster than I know. Normally I LOVE me some July, but not right now.
Last night I had another amazing run. 3 miles and I went without music. I left my ipod at home by accident, but I am glad I did. The place I plan to run my long runs is so peaceful. There are enough people there that I do not feel unsafe alone, but not too many people run/walk there so I can huff and puff away. My first 1.5 miles was amazing. There were more downhills than up (which I knew would be waiting for me on the way back). The 1.5 mile marker on the map I think was off because Garmin said 1.1. That was kind of annoying. After the first 1.5, I stopped to stretch a good bit (conserve our legs remember?). The trip back was tough. Those downhills were laughing at me because they were up now. But I pushed through any discomfort and while I was slower than I wanted to be, I was happy. Today is a rest day because tomorrow I am meeting with a running group for 4 miles. I am scared. I have a hard time running with people I dont know.
Can I share some of my sources of anxiety with you? Maybe you can help me find a solution.
#1 – I have to deal with the car accident from last weekend myself. I spoke with my insurance agent and they said they would be more than happy to do it for me, but I have to pay my deductible up front. They would fight for the money back but it would take a very long time. So since I dont have that cash to shell out, I have to fight this myself. I swear insurance companies were supposed to do all this for you. I must be very wrong.
#2 – I have been taking blame for other people’s actions and I dont know how to stop. Why havent you made time for me? Oh because I have been busy. But why havent you tried? Why are you so rude to me? Oh probably because I have been too busy to sit you down and correct your actions. Why does my laundry stink? Oh because somehow I did something wrong. Why havent you mopped the floor? Oh because I straight up suck apparently. I have been very hard on myself and I think it has to do with this anxiety of dealing with the Chicken Little complex
#3 – Chicken Little complex. You know the story where Chicken Little tells everyone the sky is falling. I am surrounded by people who choose to suffer from this. Everything is awful, everyone out to get them. I dont know how to combat that. I have to though because it affects my everyday life. I know people cant be changed, but how do you help the half empties see the half full glass?
#4 – I have 4 projects at my house that sit half completed. After those 4 I am taking a little break from DIY. This break will probably last through the summer and then things will pick up again I am sure.
#5 – Spring cleaning alone. I have been so excited about this all week. Finally cleaning every inch of the apartment and getting rid of all that nasty pollen. Matt left for the weekend, I have tons of plans tomorrow (and next weekend), and its not all going to be done. It will get done. Lets not get all chicken little.
These could be the reasons my stomach hurts today. Do you have any great suggestions on how to deal with these issues? Obviously I have solved a few already, but the main one is CLC (chicken little complex…I dont even know if that is a real complex, but Ill play doctor for the day).
(yep planning a vacation when this madness ends. Thank goodness I have Matt right now, even if our time is limited to just weekends)